This is usually what I think when I learn what sign men are... (Female version still to come...)
Aries- Yum! You're hot let's have sex get married and have a million babies. We will set the world on fire!
Taurus- Kill me. I don't want to hear about your 401K.
Gemini- I LOVE YOU! Let's get drunk solve the world's problems and be bff forevea and eva.
Cancer- Your feelings make me want to puke sometimes. Plus you constantly have issues and problems. But, you worship me so we can date for a year or so. Just stop comparing me to your "mommy"....
Leo- If you're gay let's be bitches together, if you're not I think you suck.
Virgo- Even I appreciate a little earthiness now and then. We can be friends, but you can't come around my other more fabulous friends, got it?
Libra- Let's chat! But I don't think I can date you.
Scorpio- You scare the hell out of me. (Plus I think you're full of shit usually)
Sag- Yummy! Let's go on adventures together and have sex but not get married or even offically date.
Capricorn- You have money which I appreciate. Unfortunately, you also enjoy going to bed at 9.
Aquarius- Not again, you're JUST like me. I HATE that! Fine OK we can date....
Pisces- No I don't want to do coke with you, no I don't want to have freaky S&M sex with you, no I don't want to hear about how your childhood was terrible, no I don't want to hear about your self diagnosed mental problems...
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I like books
I'm reading Nick Flynn's memoir Another Bullshit Night in Suck City and it is quite good. I've google some of his other poetry and and I am pleasantly surprised. It is pretty intense stuff, seems like a lot of it is about his mom committing suicide and his drug addiction. I am a sucker for personal poetry (cuz I'm nosey) but at the same time I'd like to see him tackle some different topics. I probably haven't read enough of him yet. As I write this I just discovered hat he wrote a whole book of poems about a blind French bee keeper who lived in the 18th century. Kudos to you Nick.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Cleanse is Dead
The cleanse is offically done. It made me too light headed and confused so I ate and as soon as I started to eat I told Ken and he instantly went to the grocery and bought milk and some other stuff so we could start to eat again. We had sushi for dinner then went for starbucks. yum yum.
Oh well, I guess I don't have any self control.
Oh well, I guess I don't have any self control.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
The Cleanse- Day 2
It sucks, I won't lie. At work, I felt out of it and confused by everything. I really don't like how tired and light headed I feel. I don't think I'm going to make it. Maybe I'll do the Abs diet hard core for the next few days. I'm giving this one more day and if I still feel light headed and confused I might stop. I also had a minor melt down over something that happens almost every day.
I'm not really surprised that I only made it a day or so. I love food too much. However, it does bother me that Ken could potentially lose a ton of weight and I could still be a fat cow.
(Secretly, I don't think he will make it either)
I'm not really surprised that I only made it a day or so. I love food too much. However, it does bother me that Ken could potentially lose a ton of weight and I could still be a fat cow.
(Secretly, I don't think he will make it either)
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Cleanse- Day 1
So, Ken and I have decided to do the Master Cleanse for 10 days. We came to this decision after going to Charleston and eating super rich food and drinking too much.
I am slightly nervous about doing this because I have very little self control and I love food a lot. But, after reading some other blogs about it I am pretty excited to look skinny so hopefully that will keep me motivated.
The first part of the cleanse, the inner salt water bath, was pretty much a failure for me. Within an hour after drinking a ton of lukewarm salt water you were supposed to have to go to the bathroom super bad. That did not happen to me (or Ken) so now my stomach hurts. The book said if it didn't work you would have to add either more salt or more water to the mixture to find the right balance. I don't know if it's really worth it or not, it was so gross tasting.
The happy news is the lemonade you have to make is actually pretty good. I've read that other people who did it actually ended up craving it and I can see why.
I am trying to come up with some goals for myself to complete in the next 10 days so I can focus on something besides my lack of solid food. Here is a tenative list:
-Write every day
-Re-read/finish 100 years of solitude
-Clean and organize the apartment
-Get serious about researching culinary schools/classes (yup, it's my new thing)
I am slightly nervous about doing this because I have very little self control and I love food a lot. But, after reading some other blogs about it I am pretty excited to look skinny so hopefully that will keep me motivated.
The first part of the cleanse, the inner salt water bath, was pretty much a failure for me. Within an hour after drinking a ton of lukewarm salt water you were supposed to have to go to the bathroom super bad. That did not happen to me (or Ken) so now my stomach hurts. The book said if it didn't work you would have to add either more salt or more water to the mixture to find the right balance. I don't know if it's really worth it or not, it was so gross tasting.
The happy news is the lemonade you have to make is actually pretty good. I've read that other people who did it actually ended up craving it and I can see why.
I am trying to come up with some goals for myself to complete in the next 10 days so I can focus on something besides my lack of solid food. Here is a tenative list:
-Write every day
-Re-read/finish 100 years of solitude
-Clean and organize the apartment
-Get serious about researching culinary schools/classes (yup, it's my new thing)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Do the test! It's soo good!
This test will start the book ben and i will write called "how to live life the leo way". just keep track of what anwers you get. it's real easy.
How Leo are You Test
On a scale of 1-10 how much do you love yourself?
a. 2, I kind of hate myself b.5-6 I have some off days c.18,657 I rule.
What’s your best feature?
a. um my hands? B. My calves are kind of nice C. where do I start? My hair, my face, and my hot ass just to name a few
In a group of people I typically am
a. invisible, just taking it in hoping someone talks to me b. hanging out with my one good friend, we’re so close c. having the best time of my life, I rule everyone is looking at me and they’re super jealous
When walking down street I do the following:
a. wear all black hope no one looks at me b. I zen out , the world is so beautiful c. I pretend I am a celebrity on my way to a fabulous event, the paprazzi is following me snapping photos and every one who sees me is instantly the luckiest person alive.
Are you Always right?
a. no never b. no one is always right c. yes yes yes yes yes yes why don’t people listen to me?
When I meet someone I think:
a.i have no friends b. I hope we get along c. oh good, another follower for me to recruit, hopefully they don’t always wear that sweater
When getting ready to go out describe the process of getting your outfit together
a. I wear jeans and a shirt b. I just dig through my closet and grab something it usually looks ok c. I start thinking about in the morning and usually I have nothing to wear so I have to go shopping to buy something that makes look amazing so everyone will compliment me later and be super jealous. I have a reputation to uphold after all.
8. You’re at a bar and you see a girl/guy that you think is attractive. How do you proceed?
a. nothing, they won’t talk to me b. maybe I’ll look at them once or talk to them but only if I’m really drunk c. my personal favorite move ( I have many which you can read about in chapter 11) is the smile, look down look up because it’s all “I’m flattered so let me look down and be coy, but now I’m back”
9.Your view on sex is most like the following:
a. I’m a virgin b.sex is a spiritual thing it’s the connection of two souls in a beautiful deep way, lighting one fire I enjoy making love to the spice girls 2 become 1 c. sex is wonderful, it’s work out plus I get complimented after. Duh. (PS I’m secretly into being dominated)
10 Describe how you manage your money
a. I scrimp and save, I’ve had a retirement account since I was 8 b. i try to put away 5% of my pay check c. um what? I just got back from barney’s when I outspend, I win.
Mostly A’s: step away from the edge, don’t kill yourself, read the book, start at the beginning, don’t skip a word. We can help.
Mostly B’s: You’re middle of the road, we think that’s boring. Do yourself a favor read the book, there will probably be sections you can skim.
Mostly C’s: Read this just to reaffirm how amazing you are. Afterwards go to Barney’s, we’re already there. Snaps to you.
How Leo are You Test
On a scale of 1-10 how much do you love yourself?
a. 2, I kind of hate myself b.5-6 I have some off days c.18,657 I rule.
What’s your best feature?
a. um my hands? B. My calves are kind of nice C. where do I start? My hair, my face, and my hot ass just to name a few
In a group of people I typically am
a. invisible, just taking it in hoping someone talks to me b. hanging out with my one good friend, we’re so close c. having the best time of my life, I rule everyone is looking at me and they’re super jealous
When walking down street I do the following:
a. wear all black hope no one looks at me b. I zen out , the world is so beautiful c. I pretend I am a celebrity on my way to a fabulous event, the paprazzi is following me snapping photos and every one who sees me is instantly the luckiest person alive.
Are you Always right?
a. no never b. no one is always right c. yes yes yes yes yes yes why don’t people listen to me?
When I meet someone I think:
a.i have no friends b. I hope we get along c. oh good, another follower for me to recruit, hopefully they don’t always wear that sweater
When getting ready to go out describe the process of getting your outfit together
a. I wear jeans and a shirt b. I just dig through my closet and grab something it usually looks ok c. I start thinking about in the morning and usually I have nothing to wear so I have to go shopping to buy something that makes look amazing so everyone will compliment me later and be super jealous. I have a reputation to uphold after all.
8. You’re at a bar and you see a girl/guy that you think is attractive. How do you proceed?
a. nothing, they won’t talk to me b. maybe I’ll look at them once or talk to them but only if I’m really drunk c. my personal favorite move ( I have many which you can read about in chapter 11) is the smile, look down look up because it’s all “I’m flattered so let me look down and be coy, but now I’m back”
9.Your view on sex is most like the following:
a. I’m a virgin b.sex is a spiritual thing it’s the connection of two souls in a beautiful deep way, lighting one fire I enjoy making love to the spice girls 2 become 1 c. sex is wonderful, it’s work out plus I get complimented after. Duh. (PS I’m secretly into being dominated)
10 Describe how you manage your money
a. I scrimp and save, I’ve had a retirement account since I was 8 b. i try to put away 5% of my pay check c. um what? I just got back from barney’s when I outspend, I win.
Mostly A’s: step away from the edge, don’t kill yourself, read the book, start at the beginning, don’t skip a word. We can help.
Mostly B’s: You’re middle of the road, we think that’s boring. Do yourself a favor read the book, there will probably be sections you can skim.
Mostly C’s: Read this just to reaffirm how amazing you are. Afterwards go to Barney’s, we’re already there. Snaps to you.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Whoa Whoa Whoa, way too long
It's been way too long since i've written anything. here and in general. it's mostly because my computer is basically dead and needs a new hard drive which ken claims he can fin on ebay for "60 bucks tops". pssh that was back in march.
anyway, here's a few things:
1. i am thinking starting a new short story and posting it online. is that corny?
2. you know you're partying a little too much when a pisces looks at you like you're nuts.
3. considering going to south carolina in july? could be fun? could be too hot?
anyway, here's a few things:
1. i am thinking starting a new short story and posting it online. is that corny?
2. you know you're partying a little too much when a pisces looks at you like you're nuts.
3. considering going to south carolina in july? could be fun? could be too hot?
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