A Question of Motivation and Family

I didn't go to the gym last night. There I'm admitting it. Instead, I was lazy and sat on the couch all night, drank Red Cat and chatted online. I know this is no way for a human to exist.

I thought once I was engaged I'd be super motviated. Motivated to go to the gym regularly, motivated to do things around the house, motivated motivated motivated. How typical to think that one thing will change your life. Even though getting enaged is a big moment in life it hasn't had the impact I so firmly believed it would. Not that I'm not happy or eager to plan but it hasn't turned my life around in the ways I thought it would. I still don't want to make that dentist appointment, when I have a rough day at work I still don't want to go to the gym. How to turn this all around??? I've been wanting to make motivational posters for myself and post them all around the house. I should really buckle down and do that tonight, maybe it will help me out a little bit. Like I finally did something productive.

I think getting enagegd has stressed me out more than I ever imagined. This past weekend at Ken's mom's wedding they kept telling me "You're next dear, you're next!" I wanted to throw up. Then there are certain things Ken and I discuss that make me think I'm not mature enough to get married. For instance: Ken said to me, "So you excited to spend every other Thanksgiving with your family?" I responded with, "Why do we have to do every holiday together? Especially Thanksgiving, which is one of my favorites to spend at home."
"Uh because we'll be MARRIED." He said.
I really don't think it's nessecary to spend every holiday together. We don't have kids, and won't have them for quite a while. I wouldn't have a problem staying home together for Christmas, which is more of a major holiday than Thanksgiving. Is this selfish? Am I immature? Will I really be considered family with all these new people? They've all been divorced so many times it kind of feels like I'm on probation and then maybe after a few years of being married I'll come off probation and then really be considered family.

As a side note, I really don't like this new yogurt Ken bought me, it's super sweet tasting. Ick.