Gym Weirdos

What is it about the gym that beings out the weirdo in people? I can't take it, I must share with the world below please enjoy my gym weirdos:

1. Too-skinny-woman-constantly-on-the-eliptical: what are you doing? you're thinner than a stick. get off the eliptical and eat a cheeseburger. Also, you sweat more than a 250 pound man... how is this possible???
2. Yoga bitches: I hate you. With your dragon fly yoga mats chatting about getting soy lattes after class. You make me feel like the fat kid in 8th grade.
3. Dude who makes far too much noise while lifting weights: Really? You're not cool. Keep it to yourself. I kind of think you're doing it to impress the chicks on the arc trainers. Am I right? Maybe you could scream the answer out while doing the crunches in the air thingy.
4. Older lady who wear the spandex bike shorts to do everything: I know you've lost weight. Yes, I have noticed! But STOP.WEARING.THE.BIKE.SHORTS. they look good on no one. I don't think I've ever seen lumpier hips in my life.

Now that I've complained for a little while let me also say this: WHY do people shower at the gym? Someone explain. It only makes sense if you go before work. But at night? C'mon. Why get naked in front of strangers if you don't have to right? Maybe it's me...